31 Hideous Recipes from the Past That Are Crimes Against the Culinary Arts

Author image for John Summers
John Summers • Contributor
Jan 8, 2025 10:00 PM EST

Listen, I'm no chef. I can scramble some eggs, whip up a decent pasta, maybe even bake a basic cake if the occasion calls for it. It's not much, but I've never claimed to be a culinary genius. The people who published these recipes, however? They did. They were supposed to know what goes with what, how to make something edible—dare I say, delicious.

And yet, here we are, staring down the gelatinous abyss of things like a molded jellied fish bouillon stuffed with lobster tails, capers, ripe olives, and hard-boiled eggs. Or worse: Cottage Cheese Tuna Salad. Why? On what planet do these ingredients belong together? Who looked at these combos and thought, "Yep, that's dinner!"

Prepare yourself, because as you scroll through these recipes, you might notice me slowly unraveling. This list isn't just bad food—it's gibberish food, like throwing random words together that don't form a sentence. It's chaos on a plate, and I just… I can't.

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  • 01

    CUP Steak Pudding

    CUP Steak Puddings. RECIPE You will be charmed with those day puddings-so wonderfully light and digestible when made with 'Ators The novelty of a small pidding for each person makes a refreshing change. and so only that you are able to prepare je the right pantry without risk of running shon a living wefullefen ATORA The Good BEEF SUET
    via Quackie Sue

    "Steak" and "Pudding" shouldn't be in the same sentence

  • 02

    Gooseberry sparkle

    Gooseberry sparkle
    via Quackie Sue
  • 03

    Shrimp Tree

    Cheezburger Image 10452199424
    via Quackie Sue

    For some reason I can hear the song "Day-O"

  • 04

    Tuna & Jell-O Pie

    Cheezburger Image 10452199168
    via Quackie Sue

    Goes together like peanut butter and ketchup

  • 05

    Rouen Duckling Sevillane

    Cheezburger Image 10452198656
    via Quackie Sue

    Not enough olives

  • 06

    Crab Aspic

    Cheezburger Image 10452199936
    via Quackie Sue

    Nothing like a Crab, Jell-o, lettuce, mushroom, boiled egg cube

  • 07

    Fish Dip (?)

    Cheezburger Image 10452199680
    via Quackie Sue

    Nothing says "Don't ever come to dinner again" like this green and yellow fish dip

  • 08

    Terrine of garden vegetables

    Cheezburger Image 10452200192
    via Quackie Sue

    It has everything you never wanted

  • 09

    Centipede Crab

    Cheezburger Image 10452200448
    via Quackie Sue

    Thanks, I didn't like sleeping anyway

  • 10

    LOBSTER ASPIC

    ESCOFFIER (1846-1935) From apprentice in his ancle's restaurant in Nice, Escofler rese so the lefty position of master chef of his day. His collaboration with Ciser Rits resulted in some of the world's most luxurious hotels-the Ritz in Paris, London and New York among them. LOBSTER ASPIC (Aspic de Homard) This present-day alaptation of Escofher's masterpie is made with a mold of jellied court bosillon, filed with lobster talls, ripe alives, eepers, hard-cooked eg Recipe begins on page kookychow.
    via Quackie Sue

    A mold of jellied fish bouillon, filled with lobster tails, ripe olives, capers, and hard-boiled eggs

  • 11

    Stuffed nightmare fish

    www.midcenturymem.com 2011
    via Quackie Sue
  • 12

    Cottage Cheese Tuna Salad

    Cook cool with Borden's Cottage Cheese" says Elsie, the Borden Cose You'll find it easy to prepare delicious "no cook," "no boke" dishes with Borden's Cottage Cheese. It's the cool, thrifty, easy way to get the energy you need for summer...Boeden's Cottage Cheese is power packed with pure protein Why not try this salad today? You can make it ahead of time and serve supper at a moment's notio COTTAGE CHEESE TUNA SALAD I package lime gelati 1. package lord's Collage Che cup chopped celery drained
    via Quackie Sue

    Non of those words belong together

  • 13

    The JELL-O Submarine

    Cheezburger Image 10452201216
    via Quackie Sue
  • 14

    Tuna-Cheese-Macaroni-Loaf

    28. Tuna-Cheese-Macaroni-Loaf
    via Quackie Sue
  • 15

    Polynesian fish

    POLYNESIAN FISH 2omp 1 bike in a moderate Celf is 46
    via Quackie Sue

    I guess I'm canceling my trip to Polynesia

  • 16

    Ham in aspic

    HAM IN ASPIC SUMMERS CARD 13
    via Quackie Sue
  • 17

    Ham-Pig-Thing

    Cheezburger Image 10452202240
    via Quackie Sue

    Don't ask

  • 18

    Spinach Jell-O?

    Cheezburger Image 10452202752
    via Quackie Sue

    Either that or lawn-mower clippings 

  • 19

    Banana meatloaf. I repeat: Banana Meatloaf

    000
    via Quackie Sue

    Where is the banana you ask? It's mashed in with the mince. And yes, that is a hard-boiled egg inside the meatloaf and yes, that is a lemon and pimento-stuffed olive garnish.

  • 20

    Pineapple and fish... swirl

    Cheezburger Image 10452203264
    via Quackie Sue
  • 21

    I don't even know anymore

    0000000
    via Quackie Sue

    But those look like sardines 

  • 22

    Lime-Tuna Ring

    Cheezburger Image 10452204032
    via Quackie Sue

    Why do this to people?

  • 23

    Spam Peach Cups

    SPAM FIESTA PEACH CUPS SPAM ...bring California sunshine to winters meals! SAVORY AND SUCCULENT..this broller-easy combination of pure-pock SPAM and golden ding peaches from California Combine... whole SPAM, ground, cup uncooked rolled out, 1 cup milk, the catsup, 1 tsp prepared into ball Shape Place in bellows of 6 canned cling peach halves. Brail....... 10-12 minutes, about 6 inches from fam Extra-good eating because SPAM is the esclave of juicy pork shoulder and mild tender ha SPAM for pork p
    via Quackie Sue

    I'm slowly descending into madness

  • 24

    Monterey souffle salad with mayo

    MONTEREY SOUFFLE SALAD Quick-easy-a tuna salad treat the new "fast frost" way IT'S REAL MAYONNAISE Die pristi Best Bloods
    via Quackie Sue
  • 25

    Mustard Ring

    106. Mustard Ring
    via Quackie Sue

    Mustard Ring?
    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    Mustard Ring!

  • 26

    Nope on a plate

    0
    via Quackie Sue

    With extra nope on the side

  • 27

    Hearty fish cakes

    Convenience Fish 8 HEARTY FISH CAKES Weight Watchers Recipe Cards
    via Quackie Sue
  • 28

    Aspic with vegetables, ham and egg

    Cheezburger Image 10452205568
    via Quackie Sue

    What's even the meaning of existing anymore?

  • 29

    Cream cheese frosted melon

    It's a salad! It's a dessert! It's delicious! The frost on the melon is the world's most famous cream cheese... Philadelphia Brand PHILAS SPWIA CREAM CHEESE PHILADELPHIA CREAM CHEESE "KRAFT
    via Quackie Sue

    It's non of the above!

  • 30

    Make it stop

    Cheezburger Image 10452205824
    via Quackie Sue

    Why put hard boiled egg in everything?!

  • 31

    I'm out

    THERES BRIGHT FLAVOR TO SAVOR IN MIRACLE WHIP Miracle Whip
    via Quackie Sue

    Miracle whip and cream cheese with celery inside a hollowed out head of cabbage is where I draw the line!

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