Look, officer, I swear I don't know how all these " Detective Spooderman " action figures ended up in my store. I went through all the proper channels! I got in touch with Marvel—no, wait, was it Disney? Doesn't matter—I'm pretty sure someone gave me permission to sell these "official" Spooderman toys. But now I've got 5,000 figures of this bug-eyed, web-shooting knockoff with three arms and a hat for some reason, going for a sweet 3.99, two for 5.99. What do you mean Spider-Man doesn't wear a…