bad fanfic friday

Panty Briefs? What a name! Speaking of names, there's a chapter called "The party, and Evanescence." Why wouldn't you want to read a Dragon Ball Z fic with a chapter like that?

I know what you're thinking; "this doesn't seem so bad, it even has pictures!" Keep reading, I'll wait. Did you get to "I quickly looked at myself in the mirror and pouted. I had terrible bed head, and looked like I had just been cured from being a zombie" yet? Do you want to die?

She's a stubborn and brilliant scientist forced to work for Tony Stark. He's Tony Stark, a stubborn and brilliant jerk who infuriates her. I think you see where this is going, no? I bet she's gonna reluctantly fall in love with him, huffing and puffing and brushing her blonde bangs out of her eyes along the way. Hopefully Pepper Pots will step in and put an end to this nonsense before I lose my mind.

From the Submitter: "...did the prologue make you feel disturbed? Just wait until you read the three-page long author's note at the beginning."

Excuse me, I think I need to go have a nice long bath in mind bleach to get the image of "Link's Queen" (oh yeah, that's what she calls herself) having little Link babies out of my mind.

I'm so sorry to say that this is the ONLY chapter (so far) of this amazing Twilight/Fast and the Furious crossover with not just one, but TWO authors! It's been so long since I've seen someone swoon over Dominic Toretto that I almost forgot how attractive his big, bald, shiny head was. Be still, my heart. To make matters worse, these clever authors left us with such a cliffhanger! Who could this mystery man be? A hottie hot-hot vampire from Twilight? Some other extremely significant character from the Fast and the Furious that I've forgotten about? Wasn't Ja Rule in that movie? What ever happened to him?

P.S. I never realized how close Forks was to Seattle! Three hours seems like a reasonable daily commute, doesn't it?

Are you a fan of superheroes? Oh good, 'cause Bad Fanfic Friday is about to ruin those too! Lizzy, a seriously underweight girl with an affinity for pink and a need to describe every mundane detail of her morning routine boards a plane to Oklahoma that (spoiler alert) ends up in GOTHAM. Confusion and a run in with Batman follow.

I got nothing, guys. It's really bad. Go read it for yourself. Just wait until it switches to Bruce Wayne's POV.

Eye Bleach and Sympathetic Hugs, Amemeda

I feel something burning in my "throught" too, but I'm pretty sure it's just vomit.

On the bright side, Bella/Alison doesn't spend the entire story in tears, bleating like a goat because Edward left her. She's also apparently merely pretending to be in high school, making Edward a tiny bit less of a pedobear for liking her in the first place. However, she's just as irritatingly sad and swoony over Sirius as the real Bella is over Edward. Oh, and New Moon is set at the same time Harry Potter's parents are killed? WAT. I can't even. My mind is going numb. Send help.

A Fantastic 4 "one-shot" that your "friend" wrote, eh? I've heard that one before (no really, I have. I think I need to reevaluate my life). I sure do love stories that start with our heroine discovering that she's useless, "leant" against a fancy yellow railing. This excerpt is about half of the full story, which ends abruptly for no reason with a question from the author: should this be a two shot? To put it simply, no. Though I am deeply curious about how they're going to get out of...whateve

If you want to get technical about it, this week's BFF is really titled "Rooming with a bunch of hot wearwolfs is not okay!" Spelling and stuff is for chumps.

It's the delightful tale of a girl named Ernie (oh, so that's how she ended up rooming with boys!) who happens to be a half-vampire (oops, spoilers!) living with a bunch of hottie-pants werewolves (er, wearwolves, I guess). Oh and BTW, she's gorgeous and magically enchanting. And she's a lovely person. Or something.

There's a link to all five chapters in the via below. I hate myself for reading it.

This week's BFF is so bad that I had reservations about posting it. I can't imagine it's anything but a trollfic, and though I've read it three times, I have no idea what's going on. Rory's marrying River, but she's a dog? Rose is part timelord?

In case you aren't up to date on your Canadian politicians, Stephen Harper is Canada's Prime Minister, and Justin Trudeau is a Member of Parliament (and in the author's defense, he is rather cute for a politician).

As usual, there's a link to the full masterpiece in the Via below.

I'm calling trollfic on this one, but that's okay because "Saren blow up. And Saren dies."

It's rare, but every once in a while, a decent fanfic rises from the endless sea of bad fanfiction to surprise and delight. This is one of those fanfics. In Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, Harry is raised by an Oxford professor as a Bayesian rationalist. All those moments in which you yelled "Harry, WHY? What are you doing, you stupid **?" are no more! Check out all 81 chapters in the via below.

I don't even need to say anything; the "narratior" has done all the work for me! That said, I don't think you're ready for this story, Fandom. Jenna Sue here is not a Belieber but has the unfortunate privilege of getting kissed by Justin on a flight AND living next to him! Sounds like she's in for a fun stay with dad and a whole lot of tension with Mr. Bieber. Maybe he'll even write a song about her!

Sam and Dean have a Mary Sue sister? Did she just get spanked by their father?! I don't like where this is headed. Oh please, please don't let there be any Win-cest (see what I did there? Apparently all the cool kids call it that. Cool kids, you guys are gross).
As if Supernatural wasn't angsty enough, this writer's gone and added a girl of questionable age with terrible taste in clothing (don't you worry, she includes links for every outfit). I'm tree chapters and two spankings in, and I'm ready to quit Supernatural for good. I don't think I could handle flashbacks of this story abomination.