bad fanfic friday

Mace Windu playing truth or dare?! THE HORROR. If this is what downtime is like in the Star Wars universe, I take it back; I don't want to live in that galaxy anymore.

Things that creep me out #257: dramatic South Park romance fanfiction. There are few characters in my mind that are less suited for romance than the boys from South Park and "OMG, Autumn loves Kenny" just makes me cringe. I can't decide if my favorite quote from this fanfic is "Autumn could barely sleep that night. Her Ashley Tisdale poster seemed to be smiling at her, Hannah Montana seemed like she was dancing with her" or "I know we've only been together for a little while, but Jack and Rose were only together for a day or two. I love you." Read it for yourself and let me know what your favorite moments were in the comments. Link to the full story in the via below!

I really don't know what to make of this Angry Birds fanfic, so I'm just gonna let you decide: bad fanfic or fancy fanfic? I will say though, I'm not sure I want to play Angry Birds after this. Link to the full story in the Via below.

I don't even need to say anything; the "narratior" has done all the work for me! That said, I don't think you're ready for this story, Fandom. Jenna Sue here is not a Belieber but has the unfortunate privilege of getting kissed by Justin on a flight AND living next to him! Sounds like she's in for a fun stay with dad and a whole lot of tension with Mr. Bieber. Maybe he'll even write a song about her!

I'm calling trollfic on this one, but that's okay because "Saren blow up. And Saren dies."

From the Submitter: I somehow managed to force myself through the sole two chapters. My eyes nearly bled out of my skull. Especially at the blatant misspellings of the names of Kai and Hagi. I cringe when reading the last post, becuase she threatens to crossover Bleach and Twilight... Dear God, NO!

On the bright side, Bella/Alison doesn't spend the entire story in tears, bleating like a goat because Edward left her. She's also apparently merely pretending to be in high school, making Edward a tiny bit less of a pedobear for liking her in the first place. However, she's just as irritatingly sad and swoony over Sirius as the real Bella is over Edward. Oh, and New Moon is set at the same time Harry Potter's parents are killed? WAT. I can't even. My mind is going numb. Send help.

It's rare, but every once in a while, a decent fanfic rises from the endless sea of bad fanfiction to surprise and delight. This is one of those fanfics. In Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, Harry is raised by an Oxford professor as a Bayesian rationalist. All those moments in which you yelled "Harry, WHY? What are you doing, you stupid **?" are no more! Check out all 81 chapters in the via below.

May the fourth be with you, Fandom! I know what you're thinking; "fruitcake" must be code for something, this has got to be going down a weird and horrible path I can't follow (+10 internets if you see what I did there). Unfortunately, this story is just as advertised: Jar Jar Binks bakes a fruitcake and it's extra yummysa, even to Anakin, who is normally not a fan of fruitcake. Sadly, there's no recipe for "Grandma Gungan's Extra Yummysa Fruitcake," but there is a link to the full story in the Via below.

Happy Star Wars Day! Honor the Jedi within by checking out our Star Wars-themed Cheezburger site!

If you want to get technical about it, this week's BFF is really titled "Rooming with a bunch of hot wearwolfs is not okay!" Spelling and stuff is for chumps.

It's the delightful tale of a girl named Ernie (oh, so that's how she ended up rooming with boys!) who happens to be a half-vampire (oops, spoilers!) living with a bunch of hottie-pants werewolves (er, wearwolves, I guess). Oh and BTW, she's gorgeous and magically enchanting. And she's a lovely person. Or something.

There's a link to all five chapters in the via below. I hate myself for reading it.

From the Submitter: "I was browsing one day and stumbled across this. I was only able to read about half of it. I saw the title and thought the author was joking."

Hey, in the author's defense, a bloody cat can change everything. Don't forget to share your own forays into the world of bad fanfiction! All you have to do is submit a screenshot and a link to the full story and you too can contribute to my slow descent into madness!

Now, I don't know much about One Direction, but if you ask me, this story has potential. Loads of potential. More potential than I have eye-bleach. Tenzin should be ashamed of himself for fathering a member of One Direction.

What, what, what are you doing, Readerwritergirl12?! How dare you soil X-Men with Twilight! Though, in the author's defense, the glittering vampire thing could just be a really terrible mutation. I'd buy that. I mean, it's no worse than being Jubilee, right?

Attention Shirene shippers!

Guys, I've got a present for you: 48 chapters of really bad Sherlock/Irene dialogue! This week's BFF is all talking, all the time. I'm fairly certain this prologue has the most description of any chapter in this fic. Not convinced you should read it? They have a baby who finds things fascinating at the age of two! Come on, how could you resist the little prodigy?
As usual, a link to the full story is in the Via below.