bad fanfic friday

From the Submitter: "I was browsing one day and stumbled across this. I was only able to read about half of it. I saw the title and thought the author was joking."

Hey, in the author's defense, a bloody cat can change everything. Don't forget to share your own forays into the world of bad fanfiction! All you have to do is submit a screenshot and a link to the full story and you too can contribute to my slow descent into madness!

From the Submitter: I somehow managed to force myself through the sole two chapters. My eyes nearly bled out of my skull. Especially at the blatant misspellings of the names of Kai and Hagi. I cringe when reading the last post, becuase she threatens to crossover Bleach and Twilight... Dear God, NO!

I feel something burning in my "throught" too, but I'm pretty sure it's just vomit.

Panty Briefs? What a name! Speaking of names, there's a chapter called "The party, and Evanescence." Why wouldn't you want to read a Dragon Ball Z fic with a chapter like that?

I don't even need to say anything; the "narratior" has done all the work for me! That said, I don't think you're ready for this story, Fandom. Jenna Sue here is not a Belieber but has the unfortunate privilege of getting kissed by Justin on a flight AND living next to him! Sounds like she's in for a fun stay with dad and a whole lot of tension with Mr. Bieber. Maybe he'll even write a song about her!

This week's BFF is so bad that I had reservations about posting it. I can't imagine it's anything but a trollfic, and though I've read it three times, I have no idea what's going on. Rory's marrying River, but she's a dog? Rose is part timelord?

In case you aren't up to date on your Canadian politicians, Stephen Harper is Canada's Prime Minister, and Justin Trudeau is a Member of Parliament (and in the author's defense, he is rather cute for a politician).

As usual, there's a link to the full masterpiece in the Via below.

A Fantastic 4 "one-shot" that your "friend" wrote, eh? I've heard that one before (no really, I have. I think I need to reevaluate my life). I sure do love stories that start with our heroine discovering that she's useless, "leant" against a fancy yellow railing. This excerpt is about half of the full story, which ends abruptly for no reason with a question from the author: should this be a two shot? To put it simply, no. Though I am deeply curious about how they're going to get out of...whateve

Augh, right in the childhood. Tails, you stop contemplating things you shouldn't RIGHT THIS INSTANT. I know where this is headed, buddy, and I don't like it one bit. Warning, the full story is totally not safe for life.

I'm so sorry to say that this is the ONLY chapter (so far) of this amazing Twilight/Fast and the Furious crossover with not just one, but TWO authors! It's been so long since I've seen someone swoon over Dominic Toretto that I almost forgot how attractive his big, bald, shiny head was. Be still, my heart. To make matters worse, these clever authors left us with such a cliffhanger! Who could this mystery man be? A hottie hot-hot vampire from Twilight? Some other extremely significant character from the Fast and the Furious that I've forgotten about? Wasn't Ja Rule in that movie? What ever happened to him?

P.S. I never realized how close Forks was to Seattle! Three hours seems like a reasonable daily commute, doesn't it?

Are you a fan of superheroes? Oh good, 'cause Bad Fanfic Friday is about to ruin those too! Lizzy, a seriously underweight girl with an affinity for pink and a need to describe every mundane detail of her morning routine boards a plane to Oklahoma that (spoiler alert) ends up in GOTHAM. Confusion and a run in with Batman follow.

I got nothing, guys. It's really bad. Go read it for yourself. Just wait until it switches to Bruce Wayne's POV.

Eye Bleach and Sympathetic Hugs, Amemeda

On the bright side, Bella/Alison doesn't spend the entire story in tears, bleating like a goat because Edward left her. She's also apparently merely pretending to be in high school, making Edward a tiny bit less of a pedobear for liking her in the first place. However, she's just as irritatingly sad and swoony over Sirius as the real Bella is over Edward. Oh, and New Moon is set at the same time Harry Potter's parents are killed? WAT. I can't even. My mind is going numb. Send help.

Oh god, why? Warning: the full story is not safe for life.

P.S. Want to share your bad fanfiction with us? All you have to do is upload a screencap with a link to the full story! My bulk-sized bottle of eye bleach is just sitting here, waiting for your submissions.

May the fourth be with you, Fandom! I know what you're thinking; "fruitcake" must be code for something, this has got to be going down a weird and horrible path I can't follow (+10 internets if you see what I did there). Unfortunately, this story is just as advertised: Jar Jar Binks bakes a fruitcake and it's extra yummysa, even to Anakin, who is normally not a fan of fruitcake. Sadly, there's no recipe for "Grandma Gungan's Extra Yummysa Fruitcake," but there is a link to the full story in the Via below.

Happy Star Wars Day! Honor the Jedi within by checking out our Star Wars-themed Cheezburger site!

Mace Windu playing truth or dare?! THE HORROR. If this is what downtime is like in the Star Wars universe, I take it back; I don't want to live in that galaxy anymore.

Attention Shirene shippers!

Guys, I've got a present for you: 48 chapters of really bad Sherlock/Irene dialogue! This week's BFF is all talking, all the time. I'm fairly certain this prologue has the most description of any chapter in this fic. Not convinced you should read it? They have a baby who finds things fascinating at the age of two! Come on, how could you resist the little prodigy?
As usual, a link to the full story is in the Via below.