bad fanfic friday

This week's BFF is so bad that I had reservations about posting it. I can't imagine it's anything but a trollfic, and though I've read it three times, I have no idea what's going on. Rory's marrying River, but she's a dog? Rose is part timelord?

In case you aren't up to date on your Canadian politicians, Stephen Harper is Canada's Prime Minister, and Justin Trudeau is a Member of Parliament (and in the author's defense, he is rather cute for a politician).

As usual, there's a link to the full masterpiece in the Via below.

Augh, right in the childhood. Tails, you stop contemplating things you shouldn't RIGHT THIS INSTANT. I know where this is headed, buddy, and I don't like it one bit. Warning, the full story is totally not safe for life.

May the fourth be with you, Fandom! I know what you're thinking; "fruitcake" must be code for something, this has got to be going down a weird and horrible path I can't follow (+10 internets if you see what I did there). Unfortunately, this story is just as advertised: Jar Jar Binks bakes a fruitcake and it's extra yummysa, even to Anakin, who is normally not a fan of fruitcake. Sadly, there's no recipe for "Grandma Gungan's Extra Yummysa Fruitcake," but there is a link to the full story in the Via below.

Happy Star Wars Day! Honor the Jedi within by checking out our Star Wars-themed Cheezburger site!

Sam and Dean have a Mary Sue sister? Did she just get spanked by their father?! I don't like where this is headed. Oh please, please don't let there be any Win-cest (see what I did there? Apparently all the cool kids call it that. Cool kids, you guys are gross).
As if Supernatural wasn't angsty enough, this writer's gone and added a girl of questionable age with terrible taste in clothing (don't you worry, she includes links for every outfit). I'm tree chapters and two spankings in, and I'm ready to quit Supernatural for good. I don't think I could handle flashbacks of this story abomination.

It's rare, but every once in a while, a decent fanfic rises from the endless sea of bad fanfiction to surprise and delight. This is one of those fanfics. In Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, Harry is raised by an Oxford professor as a Bayesian rationalist. All those moments in which you yelled "Harry, WHY? What are you doing, you stupid **?" are no more! Check out all 81 chapters in the via below.

Things that creep me out #257: dramatic South Park romance fanfiction. There are few characters in my mind that are less suited for romance than the boys from South Park and "OMG, Autumn loves Kenny" just makes me cringe. I can't decide if my favorite quote from this fanfic is "Autumn could barely sleep that night. Her Ashley Tisdale poster seemed to be smiling at her, Hannah Montana seemed like she was dancing with her" or "I know we've only been together for a little while, but Jack and Rose were only together for a day or two. I love you." Read it for yourself and let me know what your favorite moments were in the comments. Link to the full story in the via below!

Are you a fan of superheroes? Oh good, 'cause Bad Fanfic Friday is about to ruin those too! Lizzy, a seriously underweight girl with an affinity for pink and a need to describe every mundane detail of her morning routine boards a plane to Oklahoma that (spoiler alert) ends up in GOTHAM. Confusion and a run in with Batman follow.

I got nothing, guys. It's really bad. Go read it for yourself. Just wait until it switches to Bruce Wayne's POV.

Eye Bleach and Sympathetic Hugs, Amemeda

On the bright side, Bella/Alison doesn't spend the entire story in tears, bleating like a goat because Edward left her. She's also apparently merely pretending to be in high school, making Edward a tiny bit less of a pedobear for liking her in the first place. However, she's just as irritatingly sad and swoony over Sirius as the real Bella is over Edward. Oh, and New Moon is set at the same time Harry Potter's parents are killed? WAT. I can't even. My mind is going numb. Send help.

Lando Calrissian and Ronald Reagan versus Commies on the moon? Yes, please!

From the Submitter: "...did the prologue make you feel disturbed? Just wait until you read the three-page long author's note at the beginning."

Excuse me, I think I need to go have a nice long bath in mind bleach to get the image of "Link's Queen" (oh yeah, that's what she calls herself) having little Link babies out of my mind.

All my creys are belong to you, Mary Sue.

Ouran High School Host Club Fanfic

Mace Windu playing truth or dare?! THE HORROR. If this is what downtime is like in the Star Wars universe, I take it back; I don't want to live in that galaxy anymore.

Panty Briefs? What a name! Speaking of names, there's a chapter called "The party, and Evanescence." Why wouldn't you want to read a Dragon Ball Z fic with a chapter like that?

What, what, what are you doing, Readerwritergirl12?! How dare you soil X-Men with Twilight! Though, in the author's defense, the glittering vampire thing could just be a really terrible mutation. I'd buy that. I mean, it's no worse than being Jubilee, right?