bad fanfic friday

I know what you're thinking; "this doesn't seem so bad, it even has pictures!" Keep reading, I'll wait. Did you get to "I quickly looked at myself in the mirror and pouted. I had terrible bed head, and looked like I had just been cured from being a zombie" yet? Do you want to die?

She's a stubborn and brilliant scientist forced to work for Tony Stark. He's Tony Stark, a stubborn and brilliant jerk who infuriates her. I think you see where this is going, no? I bet she's gonna reluctantly fall in love with him, huffing and puffing and brushing her blonde bangs out of her eyes along the way. Hopefully Pepper Pots will step in and put an end to this nonsense before I lose my mind.

What, what, what are you doing, Readerwritergirl12?! How dare you soil X-Men with Twilight! Though, in the author's defense, the glittering vampire thing could just be a really terrible mutation. I'd buy that. I mean, it's no worse than being Jubilee, right?

I feel something burning in my "throught" too, but I'm pretty sure it's just vomit.

On the bright side, Bella/Alison doesn't spend the entire story in tears, bleating like a goat because Edward left her. She's also apparently merely pretending to be in high school, making Edward a tiny bit less of a pedobear for liking her in the first place. However, she's just as irritatingly sad and swoony over Sirius as the real Bella is over Edward. Oh, and New Moon is set at the same time Harry Potter's parents are killed? WAT. I can't even. My mind is going numb. Send help.

Augh, right in the childhood. Tails, you stop contemplating things you shouldn't RIGHT THIS INSTANT. I know where this is headed, buddy, and I don't like it one bit. Warning, the full story is totally not safe for life.

I don't even need to say anything; the "narratior" has done all the work for me! That said, I don't think you're ready for this story, Fandom. Jenna Sue here is not a Belieber but has the unfortunate privilege of getting kissed by Justin on a flight AND living next to him! Sounds like she's in for a fun stay with dad and a whole lot of tension with Mr. Bieber. Maybe he'll even write a song about her!

I'm so sorry to say that this is the ONLY chapter (so far) of this amazing Twilight/Fast and the Furious crossover with not just one, but TWO authors! It's been so long since I've seen someone swoon over Dominic Toretto that I almost forgot how attractive his big, bald, shiny head was. Be still, my heart. To make matters worse, these clever authors left us with such a cliffhanger! Who could this mystery man be? A hottie hot-hot vampire from Twilight? Some other extremely significant character from the Fast and the Furious that I've forgotten about? Wasn't Ja Rule in that movie? What ever happened to him?

P.S. I never realized how close Forks was to Seattle! Three hours seems like a reasonable daily commute, doesn't it?

From the Submitter: I somehow managed to force myself through the sole two chapters. My eyes nearly bled out of my skull. Especially at the blatant misspellings of the names of Kai and Hagi. I cringe when reading the last post, becuase she threatens to crossover Bleach and Twilight... Dear God, NO!

From the Submitter: "...did the prologue make you feel disturbed? Just wait until you read the three-page long author's note at the beginning."

Excuse me, I think I need to go have a nice long bath in mind bleach to get the image of "Link's Queen" (oh yeah, that's what she calls herself) having little Link babies out of my mind.

Now, I don't know much about One Direction, but if you ask me, this story has potential. Loads of potential. More potential than I have eye-bleach. Tenzin should be ashamed of himself for fathering a member of One Direction.

Things that creep me out #257: dramatic South Park romance fanfiction. There are few characters in my mind that are less suited for romance than the boys from South Park and "OMG, Autumn loves Kenny" just makes me cringe. I can't decide if my favorite quote from this fanfic is "Autumn could barely sleep that night. Her Ashley Tisdale poster seemed to be smiling at her, Hannah Montana seemed like she was dancing with her" or "I know we've only been together for a little while, but Jack and Rose were only together for a day or two. I love you." Read it for yourself and let me know what your favorite moments were in the comments. Link to the full story in the via below!

Oh no, this is not some kind of preface; this is the first chapter. How could you NOT want to read a story that features a terminator who "looks similar to Scar but not all the way" (whatever that means)?

Attention Shirene shippers!

Guys, I've got a present for you: 48 chapters of really bad Sherlock/Irene dialogue! This week's BFF is all talking, all the time. I'm fairly certain this prologue has the most description of any chapter in this fic. Not convinced you should read it? They have a baby who finds things fascinating at the age of two! Come on, how could you resist the little prodigy?
As usual, a link to the full story is in the Via below.