pokemon go

Tell you what man, these guys certainly don't seem to hold anything back when it comes to exploring the outer boundaries of dark humor. Here's another one of their videos:



Wonder what they'd make of that whole time Koffing started popping up in the Holocaust Museum a bit ago...

For those unaware, Pokémon GO has all but taken over the planet at this point. Phone batteries everywhere have taken a devastating hit. People wander the streets with lifeless eyes, tired legs (still getting used to the whole walking everywhere thing) on the hunt for another Magikarp (cause you need like 500 of those to get a damn Gyarados).

Seriously. Go outside, look around, and catch at least a dozen folks committed to leveling up, catching 'em all, and hitting every f**king Poké Stop between here and Narnia, while on their way to a potentially perpetual state of unemployment. Like some of us really should be getting back to work at this point...

And now to the hot topic of the day: when you first start up with this game, you've the option to side with Team Instinct, Valor, or Mystic:





Well, an inspired piece of banner artwork from DeviantArt’s Seoxys6 is serving as the rallying point for players out there that have grown tired of the senseless hostility between players on different teams. Team Harmony's message goes:

“Disturb not the harmony of Fire, Ice, or Lightning lest these three Titans wreck destruction upon the world in which they clash. Though the water’s Great Guardian shall arise to quell the fighting alone its song will fail. Thus the Earth shall turn to ash. O, Chosen One, into thine hands bring together all three.”

Can this new, 'unofficial' team put an end to all the animosity, or nah? I appreciate the nod to the pokémon storyline -- in the movie Ash and friends have to do something with Lugia in order to restore order between the three legendary birds, Zapdos, Articuno, and Moltres.



I don't know though; these reactions suggest we might yet be on an endless quest to attain peace between competing factions....

Can you blame them?! Here I foolishly assumed anyone's best shot at catching an Articuno was all a matter of their open-mindedness to ascending Mt. Everest, or cruising to the farthest reaches of an ice cave in Iceland, or some sh*t. Buut nope. Looks like Ohio is where it's at.

The reality of the PokéGO Halloween event is going to leave you confused, and probably going to put you to sleep.

If you're like me you might've been out there trying to catch 'em all, stressed out about making the most outta your limited supply of incense, and completely unaware that the best way to attract Pokémon while using an incense is to jog...at exactly 7.5 miles per hour. So, reasonably damn fast. 

Yes, according to Pokémon GO's coding (first discovered by the Redditor __isitin__), Incense'll spawn one Pokémon every five minutes, if the player is not moving around. Except, the spawn rate surges to once a minute if a player travels at least 200 meters between spawns---about 7.5 MPH.

Based off Pokémon GO's frustratingly glitchy tracking system, and players actually taking pit stops to catch the Pokémon they find---you'd probably be able to catch between 10-15 Pokémon while your incense is active.