pokemon go

The song features a Japanese child singing on about how weak Magikarp is. Here's the chorus:

Weak pokémon, Magikarp

The weakest thing in the world

Weak pokémon, Magikarp

So weak that it's actually shocking

Can't say this is quite as catchy as the Slowpoke song:



But damn if it's right up there!

If you're like me, you've gone out for an unwarranted walk to catch 'em all. Risking body, bone, and paycheck; with all worries to the wind because Dragonite might be cruising in on the next gust.

You dig up an excuse to go catch that impossible Golem, only to find out it's at least 1,000 miles away because the navigation was feeling like glitching out for a hot sec.



Then you head back out, brave the proud lone highway because there was a damn fiesta of Magikarps round the corner...and the only dude that actually has a Gyarados, also owes his mom about 7K in a combined purse of Honey BBQ Fritos, and that unfortunately not-extinct Mountain Dew Code Red.

BUT, then when you made the trek the server crashed, because why not inconvenience?

What are your worst stories when you made the journey, only to realize it was futile all along? 

Just cause Pokémon GO hasn't hit Singapore yet, doesn't mean the policing authorities don't know their audience...

This is how Pokemon Go should be. This is how Pokemon Go won't be. Sorry for the rubbish quality. No webm on cheezburger.

Poor 'ol Boone Sheridan who lives in Massachusetts, downloaded Pokémon GO last Friday, only to end up realizing that his house was marked as one of his area's gyms. Thing is, it makes sense because Sheridan said his place used to be a church in the 1800's (thus explaining why it'd be marked as a gym).

Churches are f**king hotbeds in Pokémon GO right now. Sheridan's coverage via Twitter, of his place being frequented by Pokémon trainers who were just trying to train 'n catch 'em all, is pretty damn hilarious. 

I mean hey, at least Sheridan got to meet the current Gym leader right? 

Just this morning Pokémon Go Hub went ahead and published a Pokémon Go spawn rate chart, which uses over 100 million data points from Poké Radar’s “prediction algorithm dataset.” In English, this sh*t is highly accurate.

Some interesting things to note:

Pidgey is more common than Rattata...

Dragonite is the 'least common' after the (non-existent) Legendary Pokémon.


After that, the least common Pokémon are:


Gyarados (how'd they spell it wrong in that table though...) has the same spawn rate as Kabutops.

Male Nidorans are more common than female Nidorans.

You'll encounter 21 Pikachus for every 10,000 Pokémon you encounter...

Evan Scribner was busted by his girlfriend when she opened up his Pokémon GO account to discover that the cheating trainer had been roaming the high grass in a territory he shouldn't be.

Scribner's spot was blown when his girlfriend noticed the New York neighborhood where Evan caught a Zubat was the same area his ex-girlfriend lived. Pokémon GO uses geolocation services to monitor where and when each Pokémon caught is found. Soo, yeah, Evan had no excuse.

“She saw that I had caught a Pokémon while at my ex’s house,” a broken-hearted Scribner told The Post. “She found out last night at my house and hasn’t contacted me since then,” Scribner said.

Pokémon GO just dropped in Japan, and it doesn't get much more creative, in terms of trying to level up quickly as possible, than this!