Surprise, Surprise: You Can't Survive Those Leaps Into Haystacks

video game news assassins creed haystacks full of lies View Fullscreen
- -

In a paper titled "Falling Into Straw," physics students at the University of Leicester debunked any hope you had in the myth of leaping off a building and landing safely in a haystack in Assassin's Creed

After what I'm sure amounted to vigorous research into haystack leaps in the game, the students concluded that, put simply, you shouldn't do that IRL.  While the piles of loose straw would provide some cushioning from falls, you couldn't pull off the kind of jump an assassin does because the haystacks are too small.  The haystacks in game are only about 1.5m tall, and according to the paper, you could fall no further than 12-13m and expect that stack to save you.  If you're willing to sustain "severe injuries," you could stretch that height to about 50m, but you certainly won't be shanking any enemies after that leap of faith.

The One Ring Will Get You Suspended From School

geek news texas boy suspended for bringing one ring to school View Fullscreen
- -

A 9 year old Texas boy was suspnded from elementary school after he brought a replica of the One Ring from Lord of the Rings to school.  The boy reportedly "threatened" a classmate, saying he could make his fellow student disappear with the ring, so he was suspended from school. I kid you not, actually suspended.  

This isn't the first time Aiden Stewart has faced disciplinary action this school year, either; his other suspensions have been for "referring to a classmate as black and bringing his favorite book to school: 'The Big Book of Knowledge.'"  Apparently, the book contained an illustration of a pregnant woman, an offense so vile it resulted in an in-school suspension for Aiden.

Be careful out there amongst the normies, nerds.  As mainstream as scifi/fantasy has become, they apparently still don't get the concept of make-believe.

A School in Chicago Has a Scholarship for Their Competitive eSports Team

league of legends,school,esports
- -

Robert Morris University offers a scholarship of reportedly 25% of tuition, around $6,000, to members of their video game collegiate sports team which plans to compete at the professional level in League of Legends. The school is building an eSports arena and training center, and has recruited famed pro gaming coach AGeNt as head coach of their esports program, which came to be when the school's women's soccer coach was reminiscing about playing Starcraft II in college and discovered esports. Apparently, teams will only practice for three to four hours a day, five days a week.

A story in the Wall Street Journal tells the story of one of those students, if you're interested, or you can check out Robert Morris University's site if you think you've got a shot.

Download the new Cheezburger app for a chance to win a PS4! in Cheezburger 's Hangs on LockerDome