Because nothing is more metal than covering the entire world in permafrost.
"This is the story of a king and his quest for a mighty sword with the power to forge a new nation, a kingdom of METAL." Yeah, you read that right. This week's Bad Fanfic Friday is a bad metal version of the tale of King Arthur with lots of bad sword fighting. I think I saw Xena in there somewhere too, but I can't be sure; my face was melting at the time.